With all this brouhaha over paper prices rising, I thought it's be nice to talk about paper falling. Not prices, alas, but a downward trend in paper all the same.
When I say 'trend', perhaps 'downward spiral' would be more apt – some "eccentric" Japanese scientists (read: boffins with more time than sense) have decided to launch paper aeroplanes from the International Space Station (ISS).
Okay, so maybe there was a hint of ridicule in my breakdown of their 'sense:time' ratio, but I'll also say they're living out every boy's dream. As a kid, I counted myself lucky if my 80gsm jetfighter made the flight from my eight-year-old hand to the ground without barrel rolling into a crumpled mess. I'm assuming that Professor Shinchi Suzuki and his team will be using a somewhat higher-spec grade than your standard copier paper and with a considerably more rigorous design. Still, I never had the help of the Japan Origami Airplane Association at my disposal when hastily folding my A4 masterpieces while the teacher wasn't looking.
Nor did I have a hypersonic wind chamber for test runs.
When you're pouring public money into what is essentially a class-clown act on a galactic scale, justification would come in handy. Professor Suzuki has said: "We think from this experiment we will be able to create new concepts and in the very near future perhaps new types of airship from this design."
Wish I'd tried that excuse with Mrs Moreland in Maths class.
Seriously though, the whole research project does add cache to paper's image as a resilient and durable medium. Just try powering Amazon's Kindle e-book reader up to Mach 7 in temperatures of 300C. I'll put my money on the pulp-based alternative any day.
If only there was some way to duplicate the results and apply them to paper freighting. There'd definitely be fewer concerns over carbon miles if all stock could be sent more than 400km using unpowered flight, which is the approximate distance from the ISS to we mere mortals. Any chance the UPMs and Stora Ensos would consider a geosynchronous pulp mill? I probably shouldn't tempt fate – there are enough arguments over domestic paper capacity as it is, without throwing inter-orbital production into the equation.
Considering the recent revelations about Japan's biggest paper companies falsifying levels of recycled content in their office paper, I should probably steer clear of the green angle. But talking of the paper power players, there must be a sponsorship opportunity here somewhere. Space station Mir-Real anyone?
Watch this 'space' for more, but in the meantime, here's a clip of a somewhat less ambitious but still incredibly impressive paper aeroplane flight.